My Colposcopy Experience

I have been meaning to do an entry detailing how my Colposcopy appointment went but I’m scatter brained and chaos is my order. Getting round to it now and the long and short is that it was terribly stressful and over loaded with pressure. My biopsy results are still not in. This is the week I am meant to get them but I’m not seeing piggies fly out there just yet. I don't want to scare anyone but I rather be totally honest so here it is…

After getting there, waiting for a bit I get called into The Specialist’s office. Hubby in tow we enter her room, take a seat and right from the go the pressure is on!

Specialist: Hello Clover and good to see you. Right! Now today the treatment you will be having is called a Cone Biopsy. *starts to draw a diagram*

(This is literally the first thing I was being told. Not had the colposcopy yet – nothing’s been looked at and I am being told “you WILL be having treatment”)

Specialist: We’re going to remove 1cm to 1.5cm of your cervix to remove the affected area. Don’t worry too much as you are in good hands! I just want you to know that in the future, should you decide to have children, you will not carry for the full term. You’re likely to deliver at 7months because of the reduced cervix. Also, you might need to have it reinforced with stitching so that you don’t deliver even sooner. It’s nothing to worry about but there is a small and I mean, very small number of women that get treatment who don’t need it.

(SHE’S STILL NOT EVEN YELLED DOWN MY CAVE AND LOOKED AT WHAT SHE’S TREATING! I should quietly point out)

Me: I’ve been told about these “small numbers” and I would seem to be lucky. I was told that it’s a “small number of women that get an abnormal smear result” and here I am DR!

Specialist: Well…if you’d like to pop into the next room and gown up –

Me: No thanks. I have questions.

Specialist: *looking at me with mild boredom* Yes Clover, what do you need to know?

Me: *shaking and scared, feeling overwhelmed, digging my nails into my hubby’s hand as I clutch at him* I have CIN 3 right? What are the chances of reversal?

Specialist: CIN 1 there is a chance it would. CIN2 is so-so and CIN 3 has no chance so you need treatment and soon so that it will not progress to cancer. (DING DONG LIE ALERT)

Me: *cotton mouth and frozen* (I'm not ashamed to say it but I froze. I went with a spool of questions for her and I couldn't ask one! I was shocked, scared and sick with her attitude already.)

Hubby: *thankfully he piped in* Would my wife having been on the pill for 7 years have affected her cervix or results at all?

Specialist: *with no hesitation, without a pause at all I get my reply* No! That's not possible! Not at all! (LIE! Big fat one! Now we know this to be a lie. After the research I found, being on the pill DOES change things. If it didn't, even without reading up about things the way I have then common sense would tell us that yes it does make changes for why else would they warn you that prolonged use of the pill may cause cervical cancer?)

Specialist: You need treatment and that is why you are here. You really don’t want to leave things and get severely ill. So pop next door and gown up and we will begin. (PRESSURE).

Me: I don’t want treatment. I really don’t. What I want is to have the colposcopy as I am meant to be having and I want you to see how things look without assuming it’s as bad as requiring treatment.

Specialist: Oh. You know you really should just get it all done today. If we just biopsy today you will be waiting such a long, long time for results. About a month at least. Getting treatment now will rest your mind *now trying the gentle approach seeing as fear got her no where* I mean, all women have a 0.02% chance of getting cervical cancer. With a smear such as yours that’s double and you have a 4% chance. (Maybe it’s just me but I’d think someone in the medical profession, about to yodel down my cavity would know basic maths! How is 4% double of 0.02%?)

Me: I’m willing to wait. I’ve been worried all this time already so it’s not going to make that much difference to me. So today it is the colposcopy ONLY.

Specialist: Okay Clover if you’re like to go into the next room and get ready. There are gowns on the bed so feel free to slip into one.

Me: That’s okay thanks. I am in a dress and I’ll just remove my shoes and underwear. I don’t need a gown. (I’m thinking how bizarre this push, push, push to gown up, get treatment, now, NOW!!)

While I am in the next room preparing my hubby told me of the whispers she was giving to her assistant. How “She’s not having treatment” and how “We will do what we can”.

My mind is swirling with all that I’ve just been told. I wanted to punch something. I want to scream at them because I KNOW I have just been lied to. And I’m hating the pressure with the “act now, treat now, think later attitude”.

I come back into the room and get on the bed. How does the exam take place? I will tell you. It’s very much like having a smear. They use a spectrum to open you (not a nice way to put it, I know, sorry!). When they are looking about, you won't feel that as the scope they use doesn't go in. You might feel the slightest discomfort when they use the solution on a cotton wool ball to swab your cervix to make the cells show up. For me, it was only uncomfy on that - I think because you're aware they're doing something so your brain thinks you should feel something. It wasn't painful just...weird! They look about, tell you what they are seeing…

Specialist: *catches herself from over reacting, I think her shock was pretty apparent though* Well, this really is not as bad as we were thinking.

Me: No? How so?

At this point a monitor by the bedside was turned to face me and my hubby. He was by my side the whole time and holding my hand the lovely dear that he is. Seeing my cervix I have to admit I thought was awesome! I could see me! There! And I am woman, hear me roar! *ahem* The affected area was literally one-eighth of my cervix. It looked like I had a graze and that was all. I am not good at drawing but I did try in Paint to try illustrate what mine looked like:-

Specialist: That is the only affected area there. We’re going to biopsy. The area is rather small so if anything in doing the biopsy we’ll remove the affected area. (So what was all that rubbish about slicing off 1cm-1.5cm of cervix hmmm?)

Me: Okay, I think I’m ready.

The biopsy itself it as a bit like having my ears pierced. It's more the noise of the 'grabber' clicking that made me want to react. I did feel a slight pinch as they did it but it wasn't even eye watering. After they collected the cells they sealed the wound where they took the biopsies with silver nitrate on these long sticks that looked somewhat like kebab skewers. Now that I did feel! To me I felt it like really bad period cramps. But that lasted literally for about 1 minute, 2 minutes at best. You can walk right out of there after that! I even went to town and grabbed some groceries afterwards! I did over that day to the next day now and again feel a cramp but seriously, nothing so painful that it warranted pain killers. Please note: pain obviously varies from person-to-person as we all have different pain thresholds.

When she was done I looked between my legs and said “Wow, you could have bought me dinner first!” That at least got a giggle out of her, her assistant and the nurse assistant.

As I sat up she changed her tune. All smiles now –

Specialist: You did really well! We’ll send your biopsies to pathology. I notice on your file it says you are a smoker. If you quit smoking all this will simply go away! (Hang on, HANG ON woman! You told me there was no chance of that ever happening for me? What-what?”) I think you would be a good candidate for LLETZ treatment so here is a leaflet for you to go read about it. (A less serious method of treatment may I add to Cone Biopsy!)

Me: *so happy to be done with that I grab the leaflet, dash to the next room, put my underwear back on but with a pad, thank her and wish them all a good day and exit with my hubby as fast as I can*

Hubby: *outside* So…what a sack of shit!

Me: Tell me about it! I need a cigarette like you would not believe! And some Jack Daniels!

Hubby: Let’s go baby! (I’m his baby and it’s so dawww so cute ain’t it? *please don't vom at the cuteness, it leaves stains ha!*) I’ll take you home and look after you.

Me: YAY!!